星空无限传媒

Alumna remembers mother five years after Emanuel Nine shooting

Image
Gracyn Doctor with her mom, Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor
Photo courtesy Gracyn Doctor
Gracyn Doctor with her mom, Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor

Charlotte, N.C. / June 16, 2020 -听Gracyn Doctor 鈥16 was enjoying the summer before beginning her senior year at JCSU when bullets from the white supremacist鈥檚 gun changed her life forever. Doctor鈥檚 mother, Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor, was one of the nine parishioners killed in the massacre at Emanuel AME Church. Doctor said the intense news coverage of African Americans killed recently in incidents fueled by racism has reminded her of the reason her mother was murdered five years ago.听

鈥淭hese last weeks leading up to June 17 have been really hard, especially this past weekend,鈥 Doctor said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 painful to watch everything that鈥檚 going on. It鈥檚 hurtful, and it makes me angry because it brings back feelings of when I lost my mom.鈥

Doctor said she鈥檚 also angry because the nation still hasn鈥檛 faced the issue of racism, and Black people continue to be killed because of racism in 2020. 鈥淎fter the shooting, I realized that much of the public鈥檚 anger about the shooting was because it happened in a church and not because it was a result of racism,鈥 she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 been five years, and instead of getting better, it seems as if the problem is getting worse 鈥 we鈥檙e going backwards. It makes me even sadder because we鈥檙e going in reverse.鈥

Returning to JCSU for her senior year in August 2015 helped Doctor keep her mind off the painful event. She was a standout volleyball student-athlete and worked as a sports information intern. Doctor was determined to graduate because she knew it was important to her mom, and the support she received on campus helped her get through the year, she said.听

鈥淓veryone came together and supported me,鈥 said Doctor. 鈥淢y JCSU family really took care of me during my senior year. It definitely made it easier for me to get through that time.听听I鈥檒l always be grateful for听Coach (Mark) Raley and my professors, and I appreciate everything the student body, faculty and staff did for me.鈥

The Athletics department arranged for the听October 1, 2015,听volleyball match against Johnson and Wales University to be designated as the Purple Match of Honor because Doctor鈥檚 sister, Kaylin, was a freshman on JWU鈥檚 team. During the match held at JCSU, the two teams exchanged gifts of roses and held a moment of silence in honor of Rev. Middleton-Doctor. Fans wore purple and held signs with anti-hate and anti-violence messages. Doctor said it was a part of the healing process for her and her sister.听

鈥淭he purple game was cool because it鈥檚 the first time听Kaylin听and I had played against each other officially,鈥 she said. 鈥淚t made me feel good that the campus community attended and showed their support for my sister and me. It was important to me that everyone embraced the stand against violence and hatred by wearing purple.鈥澨

Doctor, who plans to pursue a career in public radio, is currently earning a master鈥檚 degree in communications at Syracuse University. She took time after graduating from JCSU to process how her mother being killed had impacted her.听

鈥淎fter I graduated, I took a break from work and school,鈥 Doctor said. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 when reality set in. I had been going through the motions and phases of emotions to get through my senior year. But it became real when I had time to sit and think about it. Not having anything to take my mind off my feelings made me lose everything.鈥

Doctor said she lost her way for a while, but she made up her mind to make a good life for herself and to set a good example for her three younger sisters. 鈥淚 was determined not to let it take over my life and be my entire story. I thought about my three sisters and wanted to set a good example for them. I wanted to show them that things were hard but we would get through it.鈥

Doctor said she鈥檚 thinking about her mother鈥檚 legacy on this five-year anniversary of the mass murder in the church affectionately known as Mother Emanuel.听

鈥淲hat鈥檚 on my mind five years later is how my family came together during that time,鈥 said Doctor. My mom was the glue that kept our family and extended family together. I鈥檓 glad we鈥檝e remained strong for her. I also remember how people in Charleston reached out to my family and showed support. I will never forget some of the stories they told me about how my mom helped them. I proud of the way she touched so many lives.鈥

Related Articles

Group photo with Dr. TerZa Lima-Neves holding her book
星空无限传媒 professor, Dr. Terza Lima-Neves, wanted to write a book that would highlight the people of her beloved Cape Verde. She wanted to move beyond rudimentary academic treatment to a discussion that would honor the musicality of authentic Cape Verdean voices.听 She wanted to write a book, her second, that would honor the depth of history and cultural expression of her people.听
View Content